


Losing Loved Ones

by BellarmyBlake



Series: It's Enough [30]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Psychological Torture, heart ripping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 09:52:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3724483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellarmyBlake/pseuds/BellarmyBlake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Pick a misc enemy. It has enough magical force to conjure an image/copy Milah's likeness to incapacitate Hook. Emma realizes that this is obviously Hook's lost love, goes super defensive badass, and vanquishes the foe. I want some parallels drawn to Graham's death and the heart-crushing business. Bonus points for throwing in some subtle help from The Dark One in showing a clueless Hook that he's not the only one who had their love's heart crushed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing Loved Ones

"You're out of your depth here, pirate." the Witch snarled in his face, Rumplestiltskin's blade on his wrist. Killian held her stare as bravely as he could, but inside he was screaming. She was going to cut his other hand off, and there was nothing he could do about it. Her magic was holding him right where he was. She laughed in his face, just as she started to trace the edge of the blade down his wrist, not hard enough to cut deep, but hard enough for it to hurt and for blood to well up to the surface. "Are you scared, Hook? Afraid I'm going to cut it off?"

Killian bared his teeth at her. "Go ahead. Do it. I've got nothing else to lose."  _Lie_. But this was helping Emma and he'd do anything to help her.

Zelena chuckled. "Oh, Captain...I think not. Cutting it off will hurt temporarily. I think I'll torture you some more." She disappeared in a puff of green smoke, and her grip on him disappeared with her. Hissing, Killian looked at his wrist. Bloody hell, he failed again.

"Killian?" He froze completely as if under a spell again. That voice...it was impossible. No, no, not here, not now. He couldn't handle this right now. "Killian, it's me, I'm here."

Slowly, so slowly, Killian turned around, fearing and hoping at the same time. His eyes fell on her, and he felt his heart break into a million pieces. "No." he whispered. "You're not real."

She smiled. "Yes, I am, Killian." She walked over to him, while he crumbled to the ground, his legs unable to carry his dead weight. "I'm alive, my love. We can be together once more."

Killian shook his head, slapping her hands away as they approached him. "Get away from me! I watched you die, I watched my Milah die, felt the life drain out of her! You are not Milah!"

She looked genuinely hurt. "Yes, I am Milah."

"You're a ghost. A mirror image of her, conjured up by that  _Witch_!" he spat, crawling backwards, out of her reach. His eyes were wide with pain and heartbreak. His heart wanted so much to believe that this was Milah, but his head knew that it couldn't be. First rule of magic: you can't bring back the dead.

"You're a perceptive little thing, aren't you?" The Witch appeared again, besides a worried looking Milah. She was grinning cruelly. "Although I regret to inform you that this pretty girl is real. Granted, she won't be permanently. But she's as real as she's ever gonna get in your life!"

How? Killian wondered. How could this Milah be real? It simply couldn't be. But he still had the Wicked Witch's attention, and it had to stay that way. So he steeled himself, took a deep breath and looked up at the Witch. "Whatever you want to do to me, bring it. My heart can't be broken more than it already is."  _Lie_. Again.

Zelena's lips turned upwards in a horrible smile, and she turned to Milah. "You asked for it, Captain." Then she plunged her hand in Milah's chest and Killian found himself screaming just as all those decades ago, but now ten times worse. It was happening all over again. He watched helplessly as Milah's heart was pulled out of her chest and she crumbled to the ground -  _again_  - and how the Witch walked over to him, showed him the heart and crushed it right in front of him. Killian had never felt so broken before. His entire body was numb, tears were staining his cheeks and he couldn't lift a finger if he wanted to. Which he didn't. He just wanted to die. He had nothing and nobody who cared about him, he was old, alone, done for.

"Killian?" Two soft hands touched his face and he opened his eyes. He looked into two beautiful brown eyes and a pretty face framed by long wavy dark hair.

"Milah..." he whispered. At this point, he didn't even bother trying to fight it or think about how impossible this all was. Milah was here. She was alive. "Am I dead?"

Milah shook her head, but at that moment a green hand came into view, plunging inside her chest, ripping her heart out and crushing it again. Killian screamed and cried. "Have I broken you yet, pirate?" Zelena whispered in his ear.

Killian lay on the ground, staring at Milah's cold body, and said nothing. There was nothing to say. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction of an answer even if he wanted to speak.

The Wicked Witch laughed and rose to her feet. "The fearsome pirate Captain Hook brought to his knees! This is quite something!"

Killian didn't care. "Please." he whispered.

Zelena damn near squealed with joy. She brought her head closer to Killian mockingly. "What was that, dear?"

"Please, just...kill me." He was so done.

"But killing you is so easy! And no fun for me."

Killian's heart was pounding in his throat and he wanted to beg again, but then Milah was there again. This time he kissed her, before the Witch crushed her heart again. This went on and on for what felt like hours, and it got worse. In the end he kept cradling her body in his arms, screaming his anger and defeat at the skies while the Wicked Witch cackled. Killian wished he was dead. He prayed for whatever power that was out there to give him his relief. To let him just  _die_.

"Killian!" Just as Milah plunged to the ground for the umpteenth time, another voice penetrated through his haze of misery.

"Oh, spectators! Lovely!" Zelena clapped her hands together, while Killian gathered Milah's body in his arms again.

"Not this time, Witch-bitch!" Killian looked up to see the most beautiful vision, an angel, storm towards them, and a rush of very powerful magic surged through the air. Zelena screamed as she flew backwards, and disappeared in a puff of golden smoke. Killian barely paid any attention to it. Milah's body was vanishing and he was grasping at thin air.

"Milah..." he whispered, his mind going over and over her deaths, numb and beaten down.

"Killian...oh my God, Killian." The angel knelt down in front of him, pulling his head up to look at him.

"Where's Milah?"

The angel looked heartbroken, and Killian wanted to wipe it all away. There was enough heartbreak inside him for the both of them. "Killian, what did she do? Milah is dead. Has been for a very long time."

His brain couldn't even comprehend what she was saying, and he just repeated the same question over and over again. The angel said something about a whale to somebody and then hoisted him to his feet.

"Where's Milah?"

"Killian, please." the angel said softly. "I'll answer your questions later, I promise. Just work with me here."

His feet seemed to do it all by themselves. He stared at the angel that was carrying him. She was beautiful. Blonde tresses that were whipping around her face, green bright eyes, beautiful face. "Am I dead?" he croaked out. It would be a relief.

"No, Killian. You're alive. You're going to be okay." she whispered.

"Then why do you look like an angel? Have you come to take me away?"

The angel looked pained, and she pressed her lips to his temple to calm him. "Just hang on, Killian. Stay with me." She carried him down the street into a tall building, where she started shouting for a whale again. Others took him from her, he felt a small sting and the world went black.

-cs-

His head was pounding when he opened his eyes to a bright white ceiling. His eyes were burning, his heart aching and he remembered everything. What the Witch had done to him.

"Oh God..." he groaned. She'd broken him. He remembered how he was a shell of a man, broken and scarred. Milah was dead, he knew that. But yet he had let the Witch get to him with her very real projections of Milah.

"Killian!" Killian looked sideways, slightly scared that maybe the Witch had come back to haunt him. He let out a sigh when he saw Emma rushing towards him. She threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. His arms went around her waist, and he pulled her close to his body, finding solace in her warmth.

"Emma..." he murmured.

"How are you feeling? Is everything okay?

"I'll live."

She pulled back to look at him. "Do you want to?"

Killian bit his lip, remembering how he hadn't wanted to live after the Witch was gone. But now that he was holding Emma, he felt renewed and on the mend, and he didn't want to die. He wanted to live. "Yes. I do." He touched her cheek gently.

She smiled. "Good."

Killian studied her for a moment, and noticed she was averting her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You..." She blushed bright red, which was very pleasing to his eyes. "You called me an angel yesterday." she whispered quickly.

With a huff, Killian fell back against his pillows, racking his brain. "I did, didn't I?" he asked. He closed his eyes with a smile. "You looked like an angel to me, the way you dashed in and saved me. My apologies, I was pretty out of it."

He saw a beautiful smile spread on her face, and she looked down shyly. "What did she do to you, Killian? Why did you keep asking for Milah?"

Oh Gods, he'd said that too? How much more can he fuck this up with her? After all these months of being patient and just being there for her when she needed it he had begun to notice a change in her. She'd started to open herself up to him. It was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen happening, but now he'd fucked it up by making it look like he still wanted Milah. He'd always love Milah, but what he felt for Emma...was ten times more intense. "I really am sorry, Emma." Killian said, before he quickly, but with a lot of swallowing and breaking of his voice, explained what Zelena did to him.

Emma was horrified, grasping his hand in hers and pressing kisses to it while she apologized profusely with a shaking voice. He was surprised to say the least. This wasn't her fault. "No, but I know what it's like."

That surprised him even more. He sat up, cupped her face in his hands and locked her eyes with his own. "You lost someone like that?" he whispered.

Emma nodded, and Killian immediately noticed the tears threatening to spill. He let his thumb stroke her cheek, surprised again that she leaned into him, closing her eyes. "Graham." she whispered.

Killian frowned, the name sounding vaguely familiar. "The Huntsman?" he tried.

She nodded. "It was when nobody remembered but Regina. She had his heart and misused it. One night...he kissed me and freaked out because he remembered something. Later we kissed again, and he remembered. He remembered being the Huntsman." A lone tear traveled slowly down her cheek and Killian wiped it away. "But Regina was unwilling to let him go off with me. So - so she crushed his heart instead. He died in my arms."

Killian was speechless. For so long he'd thought he alone knew the pain of losing someone like that. But Emma knew, too. They really did understand each other. "Oh Emma, I'm so sorry." he finally managed, giving her hand a quick squeeze. She looked up, a soft smile gracing her lips.

"Guess we're both scarred, huh?"

"Aye." He held her gaze for a long time, his thumb still stroking her face. He very much wanted to kiss her, but refused to push her into anything she didn't want. Particularly after what'd happened. There was something bothering her, though, it was brewing behind her deep hazel eyes. Pain and fear alike. "What's bothering you, love?" he asked gently.

"Nothing." she said, shrugging it off, but Killian just looked at her pointedly. Did she honestly think she'd get away with that? She sighed, lowering her eyes. "Fine. Do you still love her?"

His brows shot up, taken aback by her question. She was obviously better at hiding her emotions from him than he thought, or he was getting worse at reading them. "Her...you mean Milah?" She nodded. "Emma, I will always love Milah. She was a huge part of my life. Just like you'll always love Neal." He lowered his hand from her face to her hand that was resting on his other arm, taking it firmly and pressing a kiss. "But Emma, what I feel for you...it's so much more intense. I loved Milah, yes. But she wasn't my True Love. I believe you are. Milah gave me some peace and steadiness I desperately needed at the time. But you...you give me everything I've ever wanted and more, without even trying." He pressed his lips gently to her hand, and she closed her eyes. "I love you, Emma Swan. Now, and until forever. Even if you do not love me back."

Emma let out a strangled sob, before leaning forward and suddenly pressing her lips to his. Taken by surprise, Killian sat still for two seconds, before returning it in kind. This. This was where he felt most at home, most safe. Yesterday may have deepened the scars, but Emma was already healing them. His Saviour, indeed. "Oh God, Killian, when I saw you so broken and scared I thought I'd lost you forever." she whispered against his lips. Her cheeks were wet with tears, and Killian smiled as he wiped them away.

"I did not realize I was such an awful kisser, milady, that you cried because of it." he said in a teasing tone, attempting to lighten the mood.

It worked. Her mouth tipped up in a smile, and she leaned her forehead to his. "You're actually a pretty decent kisser, Jones." she whispered. "But there's always room for improvement." She was biting her lip with a little teasing smile hinting in the corners.

Killian grabbed her by the waist and pulled her as close as possible. "As you wish, milady." he whispered, and covered her lips with his again.

It would be a long time until he'd be over the traumatic events of yesterday. But he'd make it with her by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos feed my muse and she's a hungry lass. If you could take a moment, it would make my day!


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